How Far is Too Far?

Q - My question is how far is too far in a relationship, that is not marriage? Should it not go past kissing? Or is it ok to show more affection than that? Also If you are married, do all the actions restricted while dating suddenly become ok?!

A – Thanks for the great questions!  I will answer your questions in part

PART I – How far is too far is really the wrong question. If I were to re-phrase the question it could basically be “How far can I go until I do something that will harm the other person or myself?” When stated this way it is easy to see that the question doesn’t take love into consideration. True love is choosing what is best for the other despite the cost to myself.  If this is the case, then we don’t love another person when we risk harming them in any way in order to satisfy our desires.  Love only wants to fight for what is best for them.

Pope JPII defined love as “gift” and the opposite of love as “use”. When we use another person we fail to see them as a true human, but more as an object for our own selfishness. To ask “how far is too far” is to risk using another person. A better question might be – “how close to God can I bring this person?” or “how can I guard this person from harm?”

I have never met a person who asked "how far is too far" who wasn't struggling with purity.  This is because if we are constantly bumping up against a fence, we will eventually break through it or hop over it.  The same goes for "how far is too far", we will eventually break the rules if that is all we have.  Too often Catholics have only heard "don't do it" when it comes to sex.  But, this isn't the best reason not to have sex, and the result is that too many are sexually active outside of marriage.

Sex is something holy and beautiful - when in the right context of marriage.  Sex is something intimate and wonderful - between husband and wife.  Just like anything good, it can be twisted to be bad.  This is what happens in pre-marital sexuality.  Pre-marital sex is never about love, but is always about our selfishness.  While it may "feel" like love, we would never risk another person's future, virginity, pregnancy, disease, soul, broken heart, etc. if we loved them.

Another way to re-phrase the question might be to ask “where is the line between sin and not sinning?” Well, it depends on each individual. While all sexual activity (not just intercourse) outside of marriage is sinful, lust is also sinful. This is the deeper issue. When we have a control of what is going on in our hearts, then we will easily see where the line is drawn and will do all we can to avoid even approaching it. You might ask your self if you would act the same way if Jesus (or grandma) was sitting next to you. That might keep some wandering hands where they should be. But, we want to try and change our hearts, not just our actions.

I know there are many Catholics who struggle with their sexuality and controlling their desires, but it is worth it.  Here is the reason - you can't give what isn't your own.  If you don't have self-control, you can't give yourself away fully.  This means you can't really love another person by being a gift to them.  We can either be in control of our desires or allow them to control us.

Some say that kissing is the problem and many Christians say you shouldn't kiss until you are married. Now, I am not advocating that kissing someone is sinful at all times, unless you are married.  But, we have to realize there is something else going on here.  If we cannot kiss another person without lusting for them, we must ask what is in control of our actions - ourselves or our passions?  We need to be more careful in choosing love through a mature decision-making. Yes, every heart is different and some can kiss another without lusting, but, there are some objective facts to point out – anything “sexual” outside of marriage is harmful to a relationship and sinful.

Sex should be saved for marriage, where intimacy (of all kinds) is supposed to be.  Unfortunately in today's world, we give our sexuality, our emotions, our bodies, and our lives to people we our not married to.  We have lost the depth to what a "simple" kiss really means.  We end up deadening our sensitivity to intimacy.  To put it another way, I have never met a person who saved sex (of any kind) for marriage and regretted it, but I have met thousands who didn't keep themselves pure and now do.  You will never regret purity.  Never.  But, you will always regret impurity, eventually.  I say, live life without regrets.

Questions to ask:

• Have we invited God's will into this relationship?
• Is everything we do in this relationship glorifying to God's name?  
• Why are we dating or engaged in the first place?  
• Is it to figure out if you should be married or is it because you really "like" each other?  
• Are we choosing true love (wanting what is best for the other person despite the cost to myself) or just the feeling of love which comes and goes?
• Do we have self-control or do we allow our passions and desires to rule us?

These questions can help guide you in finding what is best for you, the other person, and ultimately your relationship with God, which is the most important relationship of all.  For more on how to date, from a Catholic perspective, check this out.

------------------

PART II – So, is everything ok in marriage? 

Not if you mean anything that would be contrary to chastity. Most people think chastity is celibacy, but that is not what it means. Chastity is rightly ordering your sexuality to your station in life. This means everyone, single, religious, priests, and married are to be chaste – though all in different ways. A married couple’s chastity means they have sex, but not that “anything goes”.

Chastity is a virtue that allows us to give ourselves to another…remember the definition of love as “gift”. To give everything means we have no selfishness in our love and chastity frees us of selfishness. So, any behavior that is not free, total, faithful, or potentially fruitful is a contradiction to true chaste love in marriage. So, no. Not everything is ok in marriage if it goes against chastity. If you have more specific questions on this part of the answer, you can talk to a campus minister or priest.

I hope these answers help.  See this site for more Q&A on these issues.

Modern Culture and Morality

Why Would Any Man Become a Priest?

An Aggie Catholic answers the question in an interview with a DFW TV station.
Please pray for vocations to the priesthood and religious life.

Abortion Doctor, Kermit Gosnell, Found Guilty of Three 1st-Degree Murder Charges

The "House of Horrors" trial of Kermit Gosnell has concluded with three 1st-degree murder charges + other guilty verdicts in other parts of the case.

Former Philadelphia abortion doctor Kermit Gosnell has been found guilty on three of four counts of first-degree murder involving the deaths of four babies.

He was also found guilty of involuntary manslaughter in the overdose death of former patient Karnamaya Mongar.

Gosnell will now face the death penalty in the sentencing phase.

The jury of seven women and five men weighed a total of 263 crimes against Gosnell with the most serious being four counts of first-degree murder.

CONTINUE READING.

Lord Have Mercy on our culture of death.

Mother's Day Videos

3 very different videos to get you thinking about those important women in your life:

1 - Just Like Me:




2 - An Open Letter To Moms from Kid President:



3 -YO MAMA BATTLE (of Compliments)


Thanks Mom!

Pope Francis' And The Religious Sensibility

What The Internet Does To Our Brains

Summer Rule Of Life For College Students

The primary authors are the Apostles of the Interior Life. I did a little bit of editing.

A RULE OF LIFE FOR SUMMER

Summer can be a very good time for relaxation and rest, compared to the hectic life of the year, but it can also be a very fruitful time for spiritual growth.

“In this oasis of quiet, before the wonderful spectacle of nature,” the John Paul II says, “one easily experiences how profitable silence is, a good that today is ever rarer. The many opportunities of relation and information that modern society offers sometimes run the risk of robbing time for recollection, to the point of rendering persons incapable of reflecting and praying. In reality, only in silence does man succeed in hearing in the depth of his conscience the voice of God, which really makes him free. And vacations can help us rediscover and cultivate this indispensable interior dimension of human life” (Angelus, July 11, 2004).

It is important to enter summer with a “plan” for your spiritual life. Otherwise it is so easy to drift away even from the prayer commitment that you had during the year.

• First of all be faithful to your daily prayer. Establish how much time you want to devote to it, how (rosary, meditation on the Word of God, adoration…) and where (home, the chapel, your parish…). It is better to start with a little commitment (for example 20 minutes every day), and then in case increase it, than to start big and then give up because you can’t keep up with it.
• Go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation with frequency. Get information about the days and times for Confessions in your parish.
• If it is possible, you ought to go to Mass during the week as much as you can, according with your academic/work commitments.
• Summer is usually a period when you have some more free time on your hands. It is ideal to read some good spiritual books that can inspire you and nourish your faith. You will find a great treasure in the lives of Saints, their writings, and in books about specific topics in which you are interested (e.g., spiritual discernment, virtues, faith and reason, Church history, apologetics, morality, etc.). You can ask your spiritual director or a campus minister for some good titles.
• Try to be in touch with some good friends, with whom you share the same values. You can either pray together sometimes, or take a commitment at the parish together (e.g., helping with teens, Bible study, working in a soup kitchen, etc.), and certainly keep each other accountable for your spiritual life. If you can’t be physically in the same place, at least you can call each other regularly.
• If you have a spiritual director, or spiritual mentor, keep in touch with him/her, calling or emailing him/her if you are in need of help and suggestions during the summer.
• If you are going to spend summer at home, you might find difficulties because you don’t have the St. Mary’s community around. Families are not always supportive of faith, some parishes seem to be less alive than the Catholic Center, and you don’t get to see so many young people around. Remember that God is at work also in your parish, in your family and in your home town. Try to see the positive aspects there, and to think of that as an opportunity to give something of what you have received here at St. Mary’s during the year. With your family, try to be strong about your decisions, but also understanding of where they are at and not judgmental. You can be a witness to them, with your peace and gentleness.

Have a great summer and we are praying for all of you who have finals starting tomorrow.

How To Talk To Atheists?

Brandon Vogt, the Boy Wonder of Catholic media, has put together an A-list of Catholic thinkers and writers to help launch a new initiative aimed at high-level dialogue with atheists. It is called StrangeNotions.com.

This is the kind of work that can change hearts and minds - so please pray for those who might use it.

Here is a description and intro video.

What is StrangeNotions.com?
StrangeNotions.com is the central place of dialogue between Catholics and atheists. It’s built around three things: Reason. Faith. Dialogue. Each day you’ll find articles, videos, and rich comment box discussion concerning life’s Big Questions.

What does “Strange Notions” mean?
The name “Strange Notions” carries a double meaning. The first sense comes from a colorful story in the Biblical book of Acts. The first great Christian missionary, Paul, sailed to Athens where he debated in the synagogue with the Jews, and in the public square, before being invited to the Areopagus, a prestigious hill where Athenian philosophers gathered “for nothing else but telling or hearing something new.” (Sound like the Internet, eh?) Paul stood among the circle of pagan philosophers and appealed to what they all held in common—devotion, philosophy, poetry. His message intrigued the Athenian elite, who said, “you bring some strange notions to our ears; we should like to know what these things mean” (Acts 17:20).

This website is designed to mimic that first meeting of Christians and atheists, allowing both to discover intriguing “strange notions” on either side.

The second meaning affirms the unavoidable fact that both Catholics and atheists think think the other side’s views are strange. Atheists see Catholics worshiping an invisible, three-in-one God and who is not empirically verifiable. Catholics see atheists dismissed the Creator behind this rich and complex cosmos, a supreme Big Banger who loves the world into being. Both groups have trouble seeing why the other believes as it does.

StrangeNotions.com is meant to help that strangeness fade away. In the end, we may still disagree, but at least the opposing views won’t be confusing “strange notions”—we’ll more clearly know what we reject, and thus what we hold, too.
CONTINUE READING.

Prayers for Finals

Remember - as long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

Here are some prayers for students who have finals coming up.  St. Thomas Aquinas is the patron of students, so it is a common practice to ask for his intercession and use prayers that he wrote.

PRAYER OF ST. THOMAS

Ineffable Creator, Who out of the treasures of Thy wisdom has appointed three hierarchies of Angels and set them in admirable order high above the heavens and hast disposed the divers portions of the universe in such marvellous array, Thou Who art called the True Source of Light and supereminent Principle of Wisdom, be pleased to cast a beam of Thy radiance upon the darkness of my mind and dispel from me the double darkness of sin and ignorance in which I have been born. 

Thou Who makest eloquent the tongues of little children, fashion my words and pour upon my lips the grace of Thy benediction. Grant me penetration to understand, capacity to retain, method and facility in study, subtlety in interpretation and abundant grace of expression.

Order the beginning, direct the progress and perfect the achievement of my work, Thou Who art true God and true Man and livest and reignest for ever and ever. Amen.

**Another from St. Thomas Aquinas - patron of students. We used this one in Grad. school frequently.

Grant, O merciful God, that I may

ardently desire,

prudently examine,

truthfully acknowledge,

and perfectly accomplish

what is pleasing to You,

for the praise and glory of Your Name. Amen.

**A good prayer to use before studying.

A Prayer before studying for exams.“God of Wisdom, I thank you for the knowledge gained and the learning experiences of the semester. I come to you this day and ask you to illuminate my mind and heart. Let your Spirit be with me as I prepare for exams, guiding my studies, and giving me insight so that I can perform to the best of my ability. Please grant me the strength to handle the pressure during these final days of the semester, the confidence to feel secure in my knowledge, and the ability to keep an appropriate perspective through it all. Help me to keep in mind what is truly important, even as I focus my time and energy on these tests in the immediate future. Finally, may I sense your peace in knowing that I applied myself to the challenges of this day.”

-Amen-

**Here is a nine-day novena (in pdf format) for those who want to start today and end next Wed, the end of finals.

**Two Prayers to St. Joseph of Cupertino - another patron of students:

1 - O Great St. Joseph of Cupertino who while on earth did obtain from God the grace to be asked at your examination only the questions you knew, obtain for me a like favour in the examinations for which I am now preparing. In return I promise to make you known and cause you to be invoked.

Through Christ our Lord.
St. Joseph of Cupertino, Pray for us.
Amen.

2 - O St. Joseph of Cupertino who by your prayer obtained from God to be asked at your examination, the only preposition you knew. Grant that I may like you succeed in the (here mention the name of Examination) examination.

In return I promise to make you known and cause you to be invoked.

O St. Joseph of Cupertino pray for me
O Holy Ghost enlighten me
Our Lady of Good Studies pray for me
Sacred Head of Jesus, Seat of divine wisdom, enlighten me.
Amen.

**Finally, here are two prayers from Catholic.org:

Prayer for Students

Under thy patronage, dear Mother, and calling on the mystery of thine Immaculate Conception, I desire to pursue my studies and my literary labors: I hereby solemnly declare that I am giving myself to these studies chiefly to the following end: that I may the better contribute to the glory of God and to the promotion of thy veneration among men. I pray thee, therefore, most loving Mother, who art the Seat of Wisdom, to bless my labors in thy loving-kindness. Moreover I promise with true affection and a willing spirit, as it is right that I should do, to ascribe all the good that shall come to me therefrom, wholly to thine intercession for me in God's holy presence. Amen.

Prayer before Study or Instructions

Incomprehensible Creator, the true Fountain of light and only Author of all knowledge: deign, we beseech Thee, to enlighten our understanding, and to remove from us all darkness of sin and ignorance. Thou, who makest eloquent the tongues of those who lack utterance, direct our tongues, and pour on our lips the grace of thy blessing. Give us a diligent and obedient spirit, quickness of apprehension, capacity of retaining, and the powerful assistance of Thy holy grace; that what we hear or learn we may apply to Thy honor and the eternal salvation of our own souls. Amen.

St. Thomas Aquinas and St. Joseph of Cupertino pray for students.

What Happens When You Die?

If you want to read about these topics, here are some links:
**Salvation by "Faith Alone"?
**Assurance of Salvation?
**"Outside the Church There Is No Salvation"
**Salvation Outside of Christ?
**When Did Salvation Become Possible?
**Do Animals go to Heaven?
**Different Levels To Heaven?
**What is The Deal With Purgatory?
**Where Did Purgatory Come From?
**Is Purgatory a Physical Place?
**Are Adam and Eve in Purgatory?
**Why Do Some Go To Hell If God Loves Them?

A Letter To A College Grad

From my friend Lauren - some great advice.

I recently had a conversation with a young friend at a party. Sitting at a table outside, sharing a tray of veggies and dip, I asked her about her plans after graduation. She told me that she wasn’t sure – she was looking at options, didn’t know if she could find a job she’d like, one that would be ‘right’ for her. As the sun set, several of us shared ideas and advice: resume writing pointers, interview tips, contacts for job recruiters, job-search websites, etc…. Finally, at one point she looked down at her hands folded in her lap and said in shocking sincerity, “Well, I think it really just comes down to the fact that I’m just afraid to be a grown-up. I’m just not sure I can do it.”

Ah, yes. “Afraid to be a grown-up.” At least she’s honest, right?

Some of us more seasoned folk might have words of advice for this young lady. “Well, buck up lassie, that’s what life is about!” Or, “Oh hun, you’ll be juuuuust fine. Just be sure you’re making a competitive salary, with a solid career track and great benefits. You know, my friend Sally’s daughter got a job in Houston and bought her own condo right after graduation.…” Or, “Eh, it doesn’t matter. Just go find something that pays the bills and get yourself through the day. Everyone hates work.”

Right.

Well, my dear. Here’s what I have to say to you, but I’m not sure it will help much:

I’m pretty much afraid of being a grown-up, too. And I’m 37.

I remember a moment in time, back when my oldest were very small – 2 years and 6 months or so. I was standing in my kitchen, staring at a pile of bills. My clothes disheveled, my children pleading for some lunch, and I thought, “What in the world does God think He’s DOING?! Why does he think I can handle all this? Because I can’t. I feel like I’m 17!”

All of us have a little wonderment in the back of our minds and hearts, sometimes a whisper, sometimes a scream: “I wonder if I had done this instead of that. I wonder if I had taken that job, moved to that town, married that guy, made that choice… What would have happened THEN, God?!

So, the real questions are these: How do we know if we’re doing the RIGHT thing? How do we know if our work is what God wants us to do with our lives?

When it comes to the bright future of any young person, all I can say is:

1. Try to find something you love to do. Always do your very best work. Don’t just go after the job position that pays the most, offers the best benefits or nicest year-end bonus. Find a balance between the practical need to work and your personal need for happiness. You have responsibilities to take care of – loans, payments, rent. So you might have to take a job that is not your ideal position at first, but that’s okay! There is still time, keep dreaming and planning but be thankful for what you have today. It is a privilege to work and contribute to society, to finally be doing something on your own and take care of yourself. Start at the very beginning, striving for excellence in all you do. You may never know how your hard work and contentiousness will benefit those you are with.

There is always nobility is a job well-done. Even if no one notices.

“Dear young people, do not bury your talents, the gifts that God has given you! Do not be afraid to dream of great things!” Pope Francis @pontifex
CONTINUE READING.

15 Year Old Adults?

Things it is illegal for a 15 year-old to do:

• Can't drop out of school. 
• Can't peddle door-to-door.
• Can't catch and coop poultry for slaughter.
• Can't runaway from home.
• Can't drive a car by themselves.
• Can't be a lifeguard at a beach.
• Can't work more than 3 hours a day.
• Can't buy a 42 oz. soda at a restaurant in New York City.
• The Kicker - Can't legally consent to have sex.

So, a 15 year-old CHILD cannot do a lot of things, yet they can now buy the morning-after pill over the counter.

This means that if a CHILD is impregnated by a 30 year-old man, the crime can more easily be swept under the rug.

This means the parents' of the CHILD are taken out of such big decisions and may never know about it all.

So, tell me what is wrong with the following statement about how some are still not satisfied and want all restrictions on age for the morning-after pill taken away:

"While an improvement over current policy, today's announcement is still disappointing," said Marcia D. Greenberger of the National Women's Law Center. "Because all women will be required to show an ID to establish their age, those without IDs could be denied access."

If you can't figure out the problem, there are 2:

• A 15 year-old child is not a "woman".
• A 15 year-old child is too young to get a driver's license and drive a car (under normal circumstances) and we think they can operate the issues of having sex and taking the morning after pill?

--------------------------------------

FYI - the pill is being marketed as "emergency contraception" and may work as contraception, but it is a back-up abortion drug. Even the FDA description points this out.

4 CONTRAINDICATIONS
ella is contraindicated for use in the case of known or suspected pregnancy. The risks to a fetus when ella is administered to a pregnant woman are unknown. If this drug is inadvertently used during pregnancy, the woman should be apprised of the potential hazard to the fetus.

Not only might it "harm" the "fetus" but it can cause abortions...

12.1 Mechanism of Action
When taken immediately before ovulation is to occur, ella postpones follicular rupture. The likely primary mechanism of action of ulipristal acetate for emergency contraception is therefore inhibition or delay of ovulation; however, alterations to the endometrium that may affect implantation may also contribute to efficacy.

Lord Save Us!

FBI Files on Catholic Leaders

Our government has been keeping track of Catholic leaders for decades. One of the leaders it closely tracked was Archbishop Fulton Sheen.

For those of you who are too young to know who he was, Archbishop Sheen was the face of Catholicism for decades years in the USA. He had wildly popular weekly TV and radio shows that he hosted for a national audience for almost 40 years. He was also an author, columnist and considered one of the best preachers of the 20th Century.

This meant that the FBI kept detailed notes on him. Many of these files have been made public (with many redactions) for several years. Interesting to note that Sheen had an ongoing correspondence with J. Edgar Hoover, the Director of the FBI. A few of the files are about allegations Sheen had sympathies for the Fascists. He did not and I don't think the FBI bought those either.

Some other correspondence was because the Communists didn't like him, because he was very vocal about opposing them. So, Hoover and others supported his opposition and there was internal dialogue about it.

A quick search also found files on other Catholics, including:

• Francis Cardinal Spellman
• Cesar Chavez

What can we take away from this?

The FBI is still keeping files on Catholic leaders, but may consider Catholic leaders with more suspicion than they previously did (at least not as friendly toward the government as they were once). This is because the Bishops, and other Catholic leaders, are more outspoken against abortion, the death penalty, immigration, the HHS mandate, etc. I am sure that many leaders, both lay and clerics, have thick files on them.

We might remember this warning from Sheen:

"Totalitarians are fond of saying that Christianity is the enemy of the State-a euphemistic way of saying an enemy of themselves." -Archbishop Fulton Sheen

I don't think we are to that point of suspicion about the US government yet, but it isn't out of the realm of possibility for our future.
Pray for our country and our leaders.

The Science Of Internet Porn - What Happens To The Brain & The Body

Something everyone should watch.

WARNING - Not for the lighthearted! Sex is treated flippantly in parts of the presentation. Nor is it for those that don't want to be shocked by the facts.




Here are some startling statistics compiled from a variety of academic and popular sources. I am sure you have heard how much money porn makes, how much there is, etc. But, what many don't see as much is the impact porn is having on individuals and society.

Here are some stats I have found (links give sources).

ADDICTION:
*Porn is more addictive than cocaine or heroin.

SOCIAL ACCEPTANCE:
*it isn't as widely accepted as some might make you think.

• 76% of U.S. adults disagree that viewing hardcore adult pornography on the internet is morally acceptable;” 
• 74% disagree that “viewing hardcore adult pornography on the Internet provides, generally, harmless entertainment;”

MEN:
*According to a survey published in the Journal of the American Psychological Association, 86% of men are likely to click on Internet sex sites if given the opportunity.

WOMEN:
*34% of female readers of Today's Christian Woman’s online newsletter admitted to intentionally accessing Internet porn.

MARRIAGE:
*According to the Journal of Adolescent Health, prolonged exposure to pornography leads to:

• An exaggerated perception of sexual activity in society
• Diminished trust between intimate couples
• The abandonment of the hope of sexual monogamy
• Belief that promiscuity is the natural state
• Belief that abstinence and sexual inactivity are unhealthy
• Cynicism about love or the need for affection between sexual partners
• Belief that marriage is sexually confining
• Lack of attraction to family and child-raising

*According to sociologist Jill Manning, the research indicates pornography consumption is associated with the following six trends, among others:

• Increased marital distress, and risk of separation and divorce
• Decreased marital intimacy and sexual satisfaction
• Infidelity
• Increased appetite for more graphic types of pornography and sexual activity associated with abusive, illegal or unsafe practices
• Devaluation of monogamy, marriage and child rearing
• An increasing number of people struggling with compulsive and addictive sexual behavior

*The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (divorce lawyers) reported that the most salient factors present in divorce cases are as follows:

• 68% of the divorces involved one party meeting a new lover over the Internet.
• 56% involved one party having “an obsessive interest in pornographic websites.”
• 47% involved spending excessive time on the computer.
• 33% involved excessive time spent speaking in chat rooms.

CHILDREN:
*According to research from Family Safe Media, the largest group of viewers of Internet porn is children between ages 12 and 17.

*According to a study cited in the Washington Post, more than 11 million teenagers view Internet pornography on a regular basis.

*When a child or adolescent is directly exposed to pornography the following effects have been documented:

• Lasting negative or traumatic emotional responses.
• Earlier onset of first sexual intercourse, thereby increasing the risk of STD’s over the lifespan.
• The belief that superior sexual satisfaction is attainable without having affection for one’s partner, thereby reinforcing the commoditization of sex and the objectification of humans.
• The belief that being married or having a family are unattractive prospects.
• Increased risk for developing sexual compulsions and addictive behavior.
• Increased risk of exposure to incorrect information about human sexuality long before a minor is able to contextualize this information in ways an adult brain could.
• And overestimating the prevalence of less common practices (e.g., group sex, bestiality, or sadomasochistic activity).

*A study of youth between the ages of 10 and 17 concluded that there is a significant relationship between frequent porn use and feelings of loneliness and major depression.

*51% of male college students and 32% of female college students first viewed pornography before teenage years (12 and younger).

CHRISTIANITY:

*In 1994, a survey showed 91% of men raised in Christian homes were exposed to pornography while growing up (compared to 98% of those not raised in a Christian home).

*In August 2006, a survey reported 50% of all Christian men and 20% of all Christian women are addicted to pornography. 60% of the women who answered the survey admitted to having significant struggles with lust; 40% admitted to being involved in sexual sin in the past year.

---------------------------------------------------------------

ADDITIONAL READING:
**What Is Wrong With Porn?
**Porn and Support for Same-Sex Marriage
**Pornography Research
**Porn is More Addictive Than Cocaine and Heroin

Why Do Priests Wear Black?

Q - Why do priests wear black and not some other color? 

A - Thanks for the question. There are several good reasons why priests wear black.

Reason #1 - "Clerics" are a kind of uniform for clergy.  As in certain secular professions a uniform can help easily identify someone.  Priests want to be easily identified as clergy, not so they stand out in a crowd and gather attention for their own sake, but because they should be a sign of Jesus to the world.

In the early Church there was no specific clothing for the ordained clergy.  But, by

the 500s many clergy began to wear long tunics that reached from neck to feet for two reasons - first it was warm, second it was a sign of modesty, because it was simple, not ornate, clothing.  This is the beginning of the tradition of the cassock - seen on the right.

By the middle ages, canon law proscribed clerical garb to be worn and started to regulate it.  It even had penalties for those who did not.  There are no longer any penalties associated with not wearing clerical garb.

Thus, clerical clothing has developed down through the ages to today.  Canon law presently states:

Clerics are to wear suitable ecclesiastical garb according to the norms issued by the conference of bishops and according to legitimate local customs - Canon 284.

Here is what the USCCB says in a "complimentary legislation" on Canon Law about it:

In liturgical rites, clerics shall wear the vesture prescribed in the proper liturgical books. Outside liturgical functions, a black suit and Roman collar are the usual attire for priests. The use of the cassock is at the discretion of the cleric.

In the case of religious clerics, the determinations of their proper institutes or societies are to be observed with regard to wearing the religious habit.

So, in ordinary situations, a priest should wear clerics.  But, it is not required at all times.

Reason #2 - Clerics symbolizes something, as do most practices in our Church.

The black represents a priest dying to self as well as simplicity/poverty.  Every time he puts on his clerics, he should remember that he does not belong to himself, but his bride, the Church.  It also symbolizes simplicity and giving up the comforts, honors, and privileges of the world.

The white Roman collar you see priests wearing symbolizes obedience to God and the Church.  This comes from the tradition of a slave having a ring put around their necks and priests choose to give their lives to Christ as his "slaves".  It also represents the marriage "ring" of being we to the Church.  The white also symbolizes the resurrection of Christ.

In other countries, especially in hot/tropical ones, you will find that the colors might be reversed and white might be the color of preference.  It makes sense in hot climates not to make someone wear black all the time.  Also, other colors for Monsignors, Bishops, Archbishops, Cardinals, and the Pope help others recognize their positions in the Church.  They also each have a meaning behind them.

I hope this helps.

"I'm Not A Bum. I'm A Human Being"

The Catechism of the Catholic Church:

2443 God blesses those who come to the aid of the poor and rebukes those who turn away from them: "Give to him who begs from you, do not refuse him who would borrow from you"; "you received without pay, give without pay." It is by what they have done for the poor that Jesus Christ will recognize his chosen ones. When "the poor have the good news preached to them," it is the sign of Christ's presence.

His name is Ronald Davis:


More from the Catechism:

2448 "In its various forms - material deprivation, unjust oppression, physical and psychological illness and death - human misery is the obvious sign of the inherited condition of frailty and need for salvation in which man finds himself as a consequence of original sin. This misery elicited the compassion of Christ the Savior, who willingly took it upon himself and identified himself with the least of his brethren. Hence, those who are oppressed by poverty are the object of a preferential love on the part of the Church which, since her origin and in spite of the failings of many of her members, has not ceased to work for their relief, defense, and liberation through numerous works of charity which remain indispensable always and everywhere."

The Invasion of Grace

"There are all kinds of questions we face - about our finances, about our families, about our careers - and there all important. But, they are nothing compared to THAT question - about when grace breaks in, what do I do? Do I say "yes" to it - do I cooperate with it or do I reject it?"
Fr. Robert Barron

Catholics and Superstition

Q - I would be interested to see what you think about the Texas A&M tradition of leaving pennies at the statue of Sully, as good luck on tests. 


A - Thanks for the question. Before giving an answer, I will give some background on this situation for our non-Aggie readers.

Lawrence Sullivan Ross (aka - Sully) was a former president of Texas A&M University in the 1890s. It is said that he helped save the University from being closed down. Aggie tradition states when he was president of the University he would tutor students and ask a "penny for their thoughts". There is now a statue of him in the main plaza of the University where students put loose change at his feet to ask for "luck" on their exams.

Many current students probably don't know that this is a very new tradition at A&M. We never did it in my days in school, from 91-95, and it is still not listed on the Universities website as an "official" tradition.

Now, as to whether this practice is wrong. I would propose it could be superstitious, depending on the person's intent. The question could be generalized - should Catholics participate in any actions that are superstitious? This way we get away from the particularities of the situations at hand.

This is what the Catechism of the Catholic Church says:

2111 Superstition is the deviation of religious feeling and of the practices this feeling imposes. It can even affect the worship we offer the true God, e.g., when one attributes an importance in some way magical to certain practices otherwise lawful or necessary. To attribute the efficacy of prayers or of sacramental signs to their mere external performance, apart from the interior dispositions that they demand, is to fall into superstition.

I think it all depends on intent. Many people say "good luck" to others. They aren't being superstitious in doing so, but rather, they are just in the habit of doing so. It is a colloquial expression used commonly, with no superstition attached to it.

So, I would say that if someone ever ascribes any kind of power outside of God to a superstitious practice - or does it habitually - then it could become superstitious and be wrong. But, if it is done knowing that no power could come from it, then it is most likely not a bad thing to do (as long as the practice isn't inherently immoral).

For instance carrying a crystal in the pocket for "luck" would be superstitious. Carrying a crystal in your pocket you found while rock-hunting with grandpa to remember him by is a good practice.

Furthermore, some might think it is "lucky" when we get rain after a dry period. To go even further, why pray for rain if we can't change God's mind about it? What is the point? Prayer may not change God or the weather, but it reminds us of our total dependence on God's providence. So, it CAN change us. These kind of prayers don't have anything to do with "luck".

So, putting a penny at the statue of Sully for luck is bad. Doing it because you think it is a fun tradition at A&M is not.

Still, we should be cautious about any action that could lead to superstitious practices and not take them too lightly.

I hope this helps.

Equal AND All The Same = A Lie

Modern culture has placed a litmus test upon people and the way in which they relate to one another: this test is basically one of function. The secularistic criteria of functionality has become commonplace in the way our society thinks of people and consequently of their equality. We must confront the secularistic notion of functionality as the standard of equality and work to let a true notion of equality again takes its rightful place.

According to a function-based definition of equality, to truly gain equality we must all be able to do the same things. But, this denies a basic fact - we are all different and made unique!

Function-based equality is a refusal to accept the individuality we each have and a it becomes a rejection of God's gift we are to the world.

Being made in God's image and likeness teaches us even more:

• We all share in a magnificent gift of God - our creation.
• We each have an equal dignity (worth) given by God.
• Our equality with one another is based on this dignity.
• Being different from one another does not affect our equality or dignity.
• We are not God.
• Our individual uniqueness has meaning and goodness.
• Our uniqueness tells us something about God.
• Our differences should compliment one another.
• Our differences are gifts from God and are part of God's plan for creation. 

Remember this - God is 3 persons in 1 Divine nature - a Trinity of persons. Thus, he is a family and community of persons. The three persons do not differ in action or nature, but by relationship with one another. Therefore, when we were created, we were made with a share in God's image and likeness in 2 ways:

1. Each individual human reflects God's image in likeness - just as God has a divine intellect (knows things) and a divine will (freedom to make choices) so each individual human has a human intellect and will.
2. We are also made in the image and likeness of God as a community of persons. Just as there is a Divine Father and Son + the love between them, so we are called to image God by being in communion with others, especially our families.

The Catechism says this:

"1704 The human person participates in the light and power of the divine Spirit. By his reason, he is capable of understanding the order of things established by the Creator. By free will, he is capable of directing himself toward his true good. He finds his perfection "in seeking and loving what is true and good."

and:

1702 "The divine image is present in every man. It shines forth in the communion of persons, in the likeness of the unity of the divine persons among themselves In the communion of persons we live out the image of God not only through our own individual gift of humanity, but also through the communion with others."

Thus, we are called to see how God is reflected in our own selves as well as in others, even though they are different. Each of us reveals, in a mysterious way, a truth about the nature of God, which was given to us in our creation. Part of our purpose in life is to find God's presence within. Our humanity is connected to our individual giftedness and in the differences we each live out the image and likeness of the Trinity in a different way.

What we need to avoid is the idea that equality = "sameness". This is wrong.

We can never be truly equal if this is true, because there is no way to achieve "sameness", due to our innate differences.

We must ask how our differences complement each other, and how we are tied to one another and to God. If we side with the view of sameness and the world-view that humanity is defined by what we do, then (for example) the unborn child has no rights since it cannot "do" anything (nor is it the "same" as a fully developed human). But if we side with nature, then our dignity is tied to the fulfilment of our beings as found in each other and in the relationships God created between us.

True equality acknowledges our differences and then finds that which transcends them and is shared by all - our human dignity.

Thus, we are "different but equal" while still being made in God's image and likeness.